Saturday, July 17, 2010

Wondering....

I sometimes wonder y things are the way they are in life. I have noticed lately that things happen for a reason. I have also come to this that only you can make the path that you walk on the way you want it if you let others make that path you will not be happy. So for today try making your own choices and let go of some of the past. I have a feeling that the stress and tension your feeling will ease off some. I had to let go of some of the things I was holding on to for a very long time and I finally started letting go and I feel so much better and stress is just not as bad anymore.

Also here is a few links to look up for mental health......
I hope you find them as useful as I have.
http://nami.org/
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml
http://www.bipolarsupport.org/
http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/bipolar-support-forums

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Life

Well a few weeks ago I cam to a decision about the case against my step dad and it was to just end ot all and move on. I can not live in the past I have a life to live and he is not part of it. I have been on the new meds for 2 months I feel really good about them. I got my daughter in the PreK class for the fall and my house seems to be alot calmer and more stable. Even my birds seem to be happier. I owe alot of this decision to my neice and my bf they really help me see what all this was doing to me and the stress was just way to high for any normal person to deal with.

As far as my sisters and brothers understanding all this they hate me for not following thru but as I told them I have not dealt with this since I was 13 and have buried it way on the back of my mind and really dont feel like dealing with it all at once. I would love to take my own pace and go slow and then handle it on my own. I dont expect them to understand since they dont have to take meds for all the crap then went thru as kids like I do. I also dont care what they think about my life. Its mine and I have to do things at my pace.

Jojo is thriving more that I am stressfree. That is what matters the most.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Today was a really hard day for me for many reasons. My loving daughter decided to wake up at 3am and stay up till 6am then get bk up at 9am and she is still up as I write this. The other reason today was hard was that I got my moms death cert. it never hit me that she was dead I mean I knew she was but it really hit home when I saw the cert. I took my meds for the first time in a few days and I feel OK but I am so tired and so ready for some good sleep. I actually did sleep for a while today from 8pm till 11pm and I woke up bc I had to get a drink my mouth was really dry.I think the Seroquel or maybe it was the Vistral.I still have to take the night time meds. I am gonna take them as soon as I get off here. I just wanted to come and update and let you all know what is going on today.

I want to let you all know that there are lots of resources out there for bipolar people tomorrow I will a few sites I have very good and informative.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Well I am revamping my blog. For several reasons I needed a place I could come and release so of the daily things I have going on. I also wanted a place where moms or any person who has bipolar to come and know that there was someone out there like them and who understands what they are going thru. So here are some things about me to get us started.


I was Dx with bipolar when I was younger not sure excatly what age. I also was told I have PTSD and aniexty/panic disorder. I do go weekly to see a therapist and I also see the dr who gives me my meds. I have found the search for a therapist to be the hardest thing for me to do bc I wanted someone I could feel like I could tell anything to them and not feel so judged. In the past I could not fully open up to my therapist bc I felt akward around them esp telling them the most darkest secrets. I have lived with some of them secrets for a very long time.  My daughter is very understanding at the age of 4. She is wise beyond her yrs. I am greatful that I get to wake up with her in my life. Yes there are days when I wonder what the world but she helps me get thru it. I also found a really great man who has been by my side for almost 14 yr and he takes alot of mess from me.


I get this question alot from ppl who dont know about this mental disorder like...Will your daughter have this when she gets older? Do other ppl in your family have this? What can I learn from this and you? Well here are the answers I give yes my daughter may have it when she gets older she already is a very emotional kid, yes I have other ppl in my family with this, and what you can learn about this and me is this life is full of up and downs and its full of bumps take what it gives you and learn from each thing. Take your meds like they tell you to do what they ask and my biggest thing I tell other ppl who have bipolar is this if there is anytime that you can not handle anything try to write it down if that does not help call your therapist that is what they get paid for.


Well this is it for tonite I will be back to tell you all more about life as a bipolar mom.